Tag Archives: Mother

Child’s Play and Alphabet

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A child learns best when he’s free to learn in his own pace and in his own ways.

Mr. Two shaped my breast pump tube into this and he said, “Mommy, letter G! G for [his name]!”

Ask me how and where my Mr. Two first learnt about letters. He was almost 1.5 years old then. It was in a hotel in Manila. There was the “EXIT” sign on the lower part of the hallway wall. He traced each letter with his fingers while saying “Mommy?” or “Daddy?” as if he was asking us what it was. After only a couple of “trips” to that “EXIT” sign, he already knew that those four letters were E-X-I-T or T-I-X-E or I-T-X-E (yes, keep on reshuffling…it doesn’t matter).

I treated those “trips” to that sign as purely play but it turned out to be a learning opportunity for him.

As time went by, he would ask us the letters that he could see around. He’s now familiar with alphabet. He would usually name the letters that he’s seen…not always correct but he is most of the time.

Do I ask him to sit down and study or memorise the alphabet? No. Never. Is he a genius? I don’t think so.

How have I made him familiar with the alphabet? I let him be the child who plays and explores. I build up his curiosity. I take him out. We ride on a bus and train and ferry and I let him hold the tickets, which have letters and numbers printed on it. I give him the receipts from cafe or supermarket.

And of course, we sing the alphabet songs.

His fingers and the window with condensation are his pen and paper in the morning.

So in case you get frustrated because your four- or five-year-old child can’t tell you what letter it is that you are pointing at, play with him. Let him play. Let him explore. Go out. Find a stick or twig, use it as your pen and start writing the alphabet on the ground. Go to the beach and write the alphabet on the sand with your fingers or rocks.

Learning can be fun. Let learning happen naturally. Let your child learn how to learn. Let him have fun in learning. Let him play while learning. Let him learn through play. Let him be a child!

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

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“Somehow, you need to cling to your optimism. Always look for the silver lining. Always look for the best in people. Try to see things through the eyes of a child. See the wonder in the simplest things. Never stop dreaming. Believe anything is possible.”
Richie Sambora

 

I am not always an optimist. I have my dark days too. I get stuck in dark tunnels too. When I cry, I cry hard and I cry for a long time…quietly. I cry when the whole world is asleep…

So that when everybody wakes up the next morning, all they see on my face is a smile… the smile of victory. I smile because deep inside I know I have defeated the pessimist me. I smile because I have begun moving forward again towards the light at the end of the dark tunnel where I got stuck.

It has been over a month now when I felt like something stole the motherhood in me. But recently I have realised that motherhood has never been stolen away from me. Although I have not been able to do almost everything that I used to do as the mother of my children, the mother in me has always loved them so dearly.

They say GBS has no cure. I say these two boys are the cure that any medical experts haven’t discovered yet.

I have realised that I have still sacrificed a lot as their mother. Putting them in a childcare centre has been a huge sacrifice for me. It had never been part of my plans to put them under the care of other people. However, it has been what is best not only for them but also for me and their Daddy. My husband has somehow been able to work for a little more hours for two weeks now (still not full time since he needs to take me to doctor sometimes). And I have been able to focus more on my recovery — therapies and my most needed rest.

My very young boys happily enjoying their freedom to explore the world away from me and their Daddy

Moreover, the best thing that has ever happened these days is how my young boys have seemed to be able to show their resilience and adaptability during this tough time that our family has been facing. I have even received a lot of overwhelmingly high praises about them. Nowadays, the world has seemed to make me realise how blest I’ve been with very beautiful children.

Yes, my children have always been the positive motivating force since they came into my life. I remember I even told my neurologists while I was crying to them for several times: “I wouldn’t mind and I wouldn’t care if I stay like this for the rest of my life if I’m not a mom. I could even die anytime soon. But I am a mother, you have to know what’s really going on because I’m sure once you know it, you’ll be able to tell me what we have to do and I will do every single thing that I will be asked to do.”

So now, I have three or four therapy sessions a week and I have different  sets of exercises that I need to do several times a day. And I don’t mind doing them all because that’s the only way for me to get back to being the kind of mother that I used to be.

Yesterday, I was able to hold my baby upright for several minutes…while sitting, of course. ❤❤❤

These days, I’ve been able to play a little with my boys when they are home. I’ve been able to (partially) change their nappies and clothes sometimes. And yesterday, I was able to hold my baby upright while sitting for several minutes after my husband handed him over to me. It was such a blissful moment!

Indeed, every cloud has a silver lining… even the darkest one. Yes, even the darkest cloud has a silver lining.

Thirty-Five

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Thirty-five gems for my sons:

  1. There is indeed one Supreme Being — God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit…for others, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha,… Different names perhaps… but there’s indeed one Supreme Being and He is our Father and He loves us.
  2. Have a strong faith in God for nothing is impossible with  Him.
  3. Respect other people’s choice of religion. Religion doesn’t define who’s good and who’s not.
  4. Fire is to Gold as Pressure is to Diamond as Adversity is to Man. One day, life will make you comprehend what this means.
  5. People matter over matters.
  6. Let your greatness be defined by your goodness and kindness to everyone and everything that breathes, not by wealth nor fame nor power.
  7. Marry only one woman. Then love only the woman whom you’d marry.
  8. Your father has been an excellent Daddy to both of you. That should be more than enough for your future children to also have a great Dad!
  9. We are not only beneficiaries of Mother Nature; we are created as stewards of all God’s creations.
  10. It is OK to rest sometimes. Be kind and gentle to yourselves.
  11. Expect that you will commit mistakes. Once you do…admit and correct them then avoid doing them again.
  12. Love your brother and be there for one another…all the time!
  13. Your Daddy and I have been doing our best to build a strong foundation for you. It will be up to you what and how you will build on it.
  14. The universe does not have a centre. This means you are not the centre of the universe.
  15. Keep your feet on the ground (figuratively). You can literally climb up a tree if you want to. But keep your feet on the ground (yes again, figuratively).
  16. You are unique. Based on the standards set by any society, you might either be better or less than the others…don’t bother too much about it. You are unique.
  17. You are and will always be special to me and to your Daddy. I hope that’s more than enough for your self-esteem.
  18. Everbody’s unique. Respect. It’s all about respect.
  19. You might want to be a doctor or engineer or farmer or builder or truck driver, etc.. Choose  to be any of those but please be a good man always.
  20. The best opportunity that life will present to you is the opportunity to help. Always grab it.
  21. At one point or another in your life, you will need help. Be humble and wise enough to ask for it.
  22. You have always been blessed and you will always be. Share your blessings. Pass them on.
  23. Your Daddy and I have been educating you since you’re very little. Therefore, you have no reason to act like uneducated. Being well-mannered and politeness are the keys.
  24. Find ways to explore the world without spending too much money.
  25. You might be able to afford a huge house. Don’t let it define you. It’s how you treat everyone who knocks on your door or who enters your house that will define you.
  26. Life can be unfair. So do your best to be fair to everyone.
  27. Life itself can be tough. So be gentle to yourself and to everyone.
  28. Pray. Don’t just recite prayers. Talk to God the way you talk to your best friend.
  29. Be yourself. But in the process of being yourself, never harm nor hurt anyone else.
  30. Live. Let live.
  31. When you have to, let go and let God.
  32. I trust you.
  33. I love you so much.
  34. Again, I love you.
  35. In case you’ve already forgotten, I LOVE YOU!

An Opportunity To Help

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32-year-old mom in the Philippines who got paralysed for FOUR years now

I am writing this blog with hope that this can find a way to help another mom who has been suffering with somewhat similar illness like mine for four years now. She’s now 32 years old with one daughter who’s almost 7 years old now. I met her only last night when she sent a message to me after reading my blog. She’s the wife of a grade school classmate of mine.

Screenshots of her messages telling me what happened to her

Her suffering started before dawn on 2nd of March 2013. She said that it all started with severe pain on the left part of her back and she couldn’t breathe easily. They waited for sunrise before they dropped their then 2-year-and-8-month-old daughter to their mom’s house on their way to hospital. While she was preparing, her left arm got numb. As they approached the hospital, she felt that she was losing her balance and when it was time to hop off from the jeepney, she couldn’t lift herself up anymore so her husband had to carry her already.

They spent the whole day in the emergency waiting for an available room. When she was finally in the room that night, she reached  the point of full paralysis. It was only her head that she could move. She was in the hospital for two weeks where several tests were done and every test result was normal. The doctor told her that what she got was “transverse myelitis”. (I don’t know what it is but by the sound of myelitis, it could be an inflammation of the myelin sheath…oh, I’m not a doctor!) She was told that there’s NO cure and therapies should be done so she can possibly recover.

Apparently, they have been financially incapable of paying for the therapies since her husband had to leave work as he’s the one looking after her. Her husband needs to carry her until now as she is still not able to stand up.

What a heartbreaking story!

I hate to say this but her story has made me feel how lucky I still have been despite my current condition. I feel sorry for her that her condition was that severe. I feel sorry for her because she lives in a place where medical benefits are not as good and enough as I’ve been receiving here. I believe that if only she was able to continue undergoing the necessary therapies, she might’ve recovered — if not fully, at least she might’ve been able to stand up or even walk.

If you’re reading this and if you think of any possible way that we could help her, please comment below. She said that her illness has made her and her family’s world to crumble down. So if there’s any way that we could be of help, let us help to rebuild their world.

With her very caring and loving husband who was my classmate in grade school

To you, my new friend, please hang in there and know that you’re not alone. Sending my prayers to you… and let us both hope for the best!

This Thing I Call The Alternative Motherhood

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Me and my 6-month-old love ❤❤❤

Motherhood itself can already bring heaps of different kinds and levels of struggles. Being physically weak because of my health condition now has brought me to a whole new level of motherhood — both positively and negatively.

Sometimes, I feel like I am completely useless. Many a time, I feel so helpless. Most of the time, I feel guilty not only because I can’t be of any help but because my moods have become so terrible and my patience is all gone.

But then I realised that I need to find alternative ways so that I can still do the things that I used to do for my two very young boys.

Recently, I discovered that I can still let them sit on my tummy while I’m lying down so I can play with them.

How I play with my two loves ❤❤❤

Sometimes, doing crazy and funny things with them can make all of us happy. Yes, I don’t need to use physical strength all the time to have fun with them.

Me and my 2.5-year-old love ❤❤❤

And it’s been two days now since I’ve been able to comfort our teething baby and to put him to sleep by simply touching and massaging him while we lie down on our bed.

The things that I do now as a mother are not the same things that I had normally done before I got this weak. The things that I do now are the things that I can do with the daily new normal me. And this is what I call an alternative motherhood.