Tag Archives: love

Our Family’s Big Move: From Auckland to Timaru

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It was Thursday last week, three days before Christmas, when we moved out from our house of four years. It was not for us to move in to another house or to another suburb in Auckland. We’re not even moving to a nearby town or region around Auckland. The move was actually from North Island to South Island of New Zealand. We have moved to Timaru — a town in South Canterbury.

Moving from Auckland to Timaru could be either having a plane ride or having 8-10 hours of road trip from Auckland to Wellington then an almost four hours of Interislander ferry ride from Wellington in North Island to Picton in South Island then another 8-10 hours drive from Picton to Timaru. We chose to do the combination of road trips and ferry ride.

On queue at 2AM to ride the Interislander ferry from Wellington to Picton

It was not an easy move. It was actually a very unusual move nowadays when people are more inclined to move from the countryside to a big city such as Auckland. We were asked many times by the people around us why we had to move to Timaru.

We have chosen to take the road less traveled.

It was a decision made so suddenly but moving to South Island has always been mine and my husband’s aspiration since we came here for a holiday after our wedding in 2014. We fell in love with South Island — particularly in Central Otago.

So what took us almost four years before we have made this move? What’s with the sudden move? What’s with South Island? Why not in Central Otago now? Why are we in Timaru now?

What took us four years before we have moved here? Two reasons: no job opportunities and had our first boy in 2014. 2015 — no job oportunities. 2016 — gave birth again and still no job opportunities. First three quarters of 2017 — I got so ill and still no job opportunities.

Why the sudden move? The house that we’re renting in Auckland has had to be renovated and we’ve got scaffolding all around our house during our last few weeks there. We didn’t want to spend the holidays in a construction site!

What’s with South Island? It is BEAUTIFUL — the mountains, the lakes, the plains and plateaus! It feels like we’ve got an easy access to nature. Back in 2014, it was more on my husband still being so active in triathlon and me being so into living in calm and quiet surroundings. Now that we have two boys, it’s more on for them to have a bigger outdoor space to run around and to eventually have more freedom to go out and play or ride a bike and scooter without me worrying so much about the busy traffic outside our house. It is important for us that our boys can spend more time outside for them to become more attracted to outdoor and physical activities as we know that they are going to be exposed in the digital world once they go to school. I’d rather have them some cuts and bruises and dirty clothes (and even catch germs and bugs) from playing outside than deal with children who can’t stay calm without a screen in front of them.

Our boys’ playtime during our stopover in Kaikoura

Why not in Central Otago now? We still love and dream to live in Central Otago but the houses there are so expensive now. Also, if we live in Cromwell or Alexandra, we’re not sure if they’ve got a Playcentre there. Dunedin still appears like a city for us. Queenstown is superbly beautiful — excellent tourist spot but I never thought of raising a family there as I associate that place to tourists.

Tram ride during our stopover in Christchurch

Why in Timaru now? What’s more surprising to other people about this move was the fact that we had never been here until last Friday. We never even had a chance to view the house that we are currently renting before we signed the tenancy agreement and paid the bond and advance payment. We were not even sure if we were going to like Timaru. So when we were already a town or two away from Timaru, my husband and I felt so nervous and excited at the same time. We were saying, “This is it! This is it!” And we were asking, “Are we really sure about this? Are we going to have a better life here?” And Mr. Three was asking, “Is this still in New Zealand? Are we in the Philippines now?” Gosh!!! More than 24 hours of travel would even make a three-year-old child think that we could already be in the other side of the world!

Kia ora, Timaru!!!

Then we arrived in Timaru. We drove around a bit before we went to our new home. We had a great first impression of the town. It wasn’t as rural as I thought it was but the good thing is that it is not a city. It’s lovely. It’s not as stunningly beautiful as Cromwell but it is lovely. It is good enough for us to continue raising our family. Caroline Bay is not as awesome as the beaches in Auckland but we’re thankful that Timaru has it.

Where we attended the mass on Christmas

We’re now here in Timaru because it is not a city. The houses are more affordable — we’re renting a house that is twice as big as the one we had in Auckland but it is way less expensive than the two-bedroom houses in Auckland. Timaru is complete for us — two Catholic churches, two Playcentres to choose from, some kindergartens, some schools and there are even catholic schools just in case, PakNSave/ Countdown/ New World are present, some shops such as The Warehouse, Briscoes, Noel Leeming, etc. are also here, huge parks and playgrounds too. And there’s also Timaru Hospital — this one is very important to us too. There are buses too. So far so good for us down here.

Lake Tekapo is now less than an hour drive away from us.

We’re now in Timaru and it feels like a fresh start for us. We don’t have our furnitures and appliances with us as we sold everything (except our clothes and a few boys’ toys) back in Auckland to avoid spending huge amount in movers and it would be hard to bring so much while we know that it’s just me and my husband who would organise everything here when we arrived. But we made sure to have a dining table and chairs before Christmas’ eve — still no beds, fridge, washing machine, etc.. As long as we have something to eat, clean clothes to wear, blankies to keep us warm when we sleep (and toys for our boys to play with), we’ll surely survive and we’ll have everything that we need one at a time — slowly but surely.

Are we going to be here for good? We don’t know. I’m still worried if we’ll be able to build friendships with the people here the way we did in Auckland. We already met a few Filipinos — a priest, the couple who own a Filipino cafe, two other Filipinas. We’re planning to join in a Playcentre but I’m still in the process of learning not to expect it to be like the community that we had back in Hillsborough Playcentre. I don’t know how we are going to be in winter. Yesterday morning, the temp was 7C and it’s summer — such a wintry summer! I don’t know if we can find a practice that is as good as Balmoral Doctors.

These beautiful flowers welcomed us and have made me feel hopeful about having a more wonderful life here in Timaru.

However it will be, I am now happy that my husband and I have finally been able to fulfill our dream of experiencing life here in South Island. Life is a constant change, anyway. We’ll see — what will be will be!

The Greatest Woman in My Life

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It was 11:50pm of the 1st of November 2002 when I felt so numb while I was feeling almost all sorts of emotions all at the same time. It was when the most loved and most influential woman in my life was declared gone. Yes, it was when Lola (my grandmother) died.

Isn’t she lovely?

I felt so numb at that very moment that I did not cry. It felt like something controlled my mind at that very moment that all I could think of was “her pains and sufferings have gone” and I was thankful for that.

I can still vividly remember how bright the room was at that time. She was peacefully lying on the bed in the middle of the room with at least five people surrounding her. I was just standing in one corner of the room when suddenly I felt a very cold air that touched my face and whole body while I could smell the scent of sampaguita flowers — the door and windows were closed, the aircon was already off and no sampaguita inside the room. That somehow comforted me and gave me peace of mind. She would be in a much better place.

I can’t remember that I cried during her wake. I thought that perhaps I was already tired of crying because there was not a single day during almost one whole month that we were in the hospital that I did not cry. Then I thought that perhaps I had already become so strong and tough. I was wrong.

I wished she had simply gone abroad temporarily.

The day when we had to bring her to the church for the final blessing came. I did not want to leave her side. It felt like my heart was about to explode. I cried so hard… nonstop! When they opened her coffin for one last time, I hugged her and I kissed her. She was so cold and hard. I was still crying. I can’t remember when I stopped crying. And I still cry from time to time because I still wish that she’s still alive with me.

Her death has made me choose some paths in my life that I might have not taken if she’s still alive. I’m not even sure if I could have ever tried living in the monastery since perhaps I would have never left her. Perhaps I have been really working as an engineer. Perhaps I am single until now because who would actually look after her unless she would live with me and my own family? Perhaps I’m still in the Philippines. Who could have known?

Yes, I’m a grandma’s girl. I was constantly with her since I was around three or four. I was sleeping beside her until before she died. I was already twenty then and I was a university student. She was everything to me. She’s not only a grandmother to me. She had been a perfect mother to me and it’s her from whom I learnt how a mother should be to be considered as a good mother. From her, I learnt how to love unconditionally.

Me with Lola, Lolo Tatay and my eldest cousin…

Now that I’m already a mother, my standard has been her. When motherhood becomes so hard and challenging for me, all I think of is her. I have two boys only while she had seven children — four boys, three girls. I don’t have any reasons to give up (not even complain) on motherhood.

I don’t know if I will still be alive when my sons have their own children. If ever, I don’t want to be the kind of grandmother that Lola had been to me because I don’t want my grandchildren to be as lonely and incomplete as me when their grandmother is gone.

It has been a decade and a half now since Lola’s gone yet I still miss her so miserably.

How It Is To Live And Raise A Family in New Zealand (2nd Part of Part 2: Our Family, A Team… Pregnancy and Birth)

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Disclaimer: As what I put on Part 1, everything that’s written here is based on our own family’s experiences and based on my perspective and preferences. This is the second of the series where I’ll write about how we live (or survive perhaps) as a family away from our families and relatives in the Philippines.

There’s a baby and it’s a boy!

When my first ever pregnancy test came back positive, I knew beforehand that it would come back positive. Two weeks before I took that test, I already felt that something different was happening inside my body. We did not tell anyone yet until it was confirmed by our GP (family doctor). My husband and I were very excited, of course! But we were also very nervous. Moreover, I was overwhelmed in both positive and negative ways because I was working on a project as a volunteer in a non-profit organisation where we were coming up with a tutoring program for the refugees and an ESL program specifically for Japanese migrants here. But as most mothers would surely agree with me, having a baby inside me gave me the most wonderful feeling ever. The second one was more of a surprise. We were in the Philippines when I felt that something was happening inside me. My husband and I did the test that turned out positive on the day before our flight back to NZ. We kept quiet until another test came back positive a week after we were back here in NZ.

In our experience here in NZ, as soon as the pregnancy test that we had at home turned out positive, we saw our GP to have it confirmed. Then our GP ordered me to undergo some blood tests and a scan (that’s how ultrasound is called here). Here is a bit of a guide about screening tests and scans that are being done here: Click here for the screening tests and scans info. Then I was prescribed to take folic acid, iodine and iron supplements.

My babies and I were under the care of our GP for most of the first trimester until I found a midwife. Finding a midwife here wasn’t easy based on my experience. My baby was due in June and winter starts in June here. When I rang almost five midwives, they were either “fully-booked” or going overseas for holiday (perhaps to somewhere warm). Yes, the lead maternity carer here is usually a midwife unless it is considered a high-risk pregnancy.

I had different Lead Maternity Carers (LMC) in my two pregnancies. The first one was in West Auckland and the second one was closer to our place. I loved the partner midwife of my first LMC. She was the one who helped my first-born to come out into this world. I would have asked her to become my LMC if she was still here in Auckland. I also loved my second LMC. She was very calm up to the extent of me imagining her as a great meditation guru.

My first pregnancy was difficult. I was experiencing nausea and all-day morning sickness almost in my entire pregnancy. I had some false alarms towards my due date as spots of blood would come out several times a couple of weeks before I gave birth. My second pregnancy was easier during the first half as I was even able to still go out and about with my first child and to still attend the workshops to finish some modules in the Playcentre course that I was completing at that time. It started to appear complicated when I had a bit of a fall down a ramp. I was admitted in the hospital for three days at my 28th week of pregnancy because a test indicating that the baby might come out early came back positive. They had to give me steroids to prepare the baby’s lungs in case he would have to come out prematurely. I had to come back to hospital almost twice a week for a month to be monitored. They had to do several anatomy scans during the last couple of months of my pregnancy to make sure that the baby was still growing and developing well inside. I was already being seen by obstetricians in the hospital then and they were coordinating with my midwife. Thankfully, both of my babies decided to stay inside me until their 38th week.

During my first pregnancy, my husband and I attended several nights of antenatal classes and I attended some sessions of pregnancy yoga on Saturdays. I only had the drive to do some walking during the last trimester of my first pregnancy but I managed to walk a lot during my second pregnancy.

OK, so how was my labour? And how did I give birth?

During my labour in the birthing suite, this was one of my positions next to standing on the floor.

My husband and I did not experience those “driving-fast-to-hospital-because-my-water-bag-broke” scenes in the movies. During my first pregnancy, I was in the hospital for two nights already before the big day because of the spots of blood that I had. The obstetrician was even considering to induce me. During my second pregnancy, my midwife asked me to go to hospital early in the morning on the day that I gave birth because it seemed like I was already in labour.

Both labours were indeed hard work, however, my boys did not let me suffer from labour pains for more than 6 hours. Moreover, they did not make me push as hard and long as the ones being portrayed in movies. Both came out through normal vaginal deliveries and I did not need any pain relief or epidural in both. There were no screaming inside the birthing suites as I also did not want anyone to be talking to me. I wanted complete silence! My first midwife made me stand for almost two hours while I was having those tremendous labour pains. She did not allow me to lie down or sit down. Gravity was indeed very helpful. Within 15 or 20 minutes after my water bag broke, our first-born came out. My second midwife had to pop my water bag as she believed that it would be helpful for my baby to go down quicker. I was lying down for most part during my active labour stage in the second one as I felt like I was already running out of strength and energy. I literally felt like I was dying soon at that time. Obviously, I did not! However, I did not have to actually push more than twice as my second son performed a great sprint when he was coming out. I am really, really thankful to my sons, to my midwives and to my husband who was present during the whole process (from making babies to taking care of them).

First of the most beautiful moments in my life…
Motherhood is a privilege and the greatest blessing from God.

During both of my pregnancies up to labour and birth of our sons, we did not have anyone to live with us as a support person. It was just me and my husband the whole time. We shared in household chores. My husband couldn’t even go to work sometimes because I wasn’t feeling so well or I needed him to accompany me to my check-up or to be with our first-born in the Playcentre. It was never easy for us but, as I wrote in my previous posts, being just us most of the time in those very challenging times has been wonderful. We continuously learn to hold on to each other and work together so that we can raise our family well.

There were times when we also asked for help and support from our families back in the Philippines and from the people who have been close to us here in NZ. We can say that we have had great support network here. It may not be the same as the ones whose families are just around the corner but the people whom we’ve had here are really great help to us. And we are forever grateful to them.

In both of my pregnancy, labour and birth experiences, I can say that we encountered big challenges. I had excruciating pains (who knows, my sons might have felt pains too). My husband had to deal with my mood swings and he has also had to adjust his lifestyle (i.e. no triathlons for three years now). However, in the midst of all the difficult years that we have had, I have no doubt that we are a family… that we are a team.

When the kuya met his baby brother

Side notes: We did not have to pay any of my antenatal check-ups with our GP and midwives. Blood tests and flu/whooping cough vaccines were free when I was pregnant. Antenatal classes were free. We never even had to pay the hospitals when I gave birth. We had to pay for scans and pregnancy yoga classes, anyway. (OK, my husband and I have permanent resident visa here. I’m not sure how it is for those with work visa.)

***Next part will be about how it is to have babies here in New Zealand.***

How It Is To Live And Raise A Family in New Zealand (1st Part of Part 2: Our Family, A Team…The Beginning)

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Disclaimer: As what I put on Part 1, Everything that’s written here is based on our own family’s experiences and based on my perspective and preferences. This is the  first of the series where I’ll write about how we live (or survive perhaps) as a family away from our families and relatives in the Philippines.

The bridal car that our friend decorated

My husband and I got married here. We did 90% of our wedding preparations. We coordinated with the church where we wanted to get married. We searched together for the venue where we wanted to have our reception. We made our own invitations. We bought my gown and his suit together. I personalised the wedding ceremony that was shared to us by our priest/celebrant. My husband prepared the playlist of all the songs for both the ceremony and reception. One day before our wedding, we were travelling around Auckland to purchase all the flowers that were arranged free of charge by a very kind family friend. On that same day, we picked up the bridal car that we rented. Then I went to the house of my aunt-in-law where I slept that night.

My lovely bridal bouquet that was superbly arranged by our long-time close family friend

Wedding Day. I woke up early in the morning. Yes, I was able to sleep well because I got exhausted from everything that we had to do in the past weeks or perhaps months. I had breakfast, prepared all that I needed, took a bath and had lunch. Then I started to style my hair and to do my own make-up. Yes, I didn’t have a hairstylist and/or a make-up artist but I had my matron-of-honour and a bridesmaid who assisted me. My cousin-in-law put the nail polish on me the night before. I put my gown and veil on. One and a half hour before the wedding, I was all set and ready to go to the church. I loved how all my preparations that day all went. I was relaxed because I was able to do everything my way — particularly my hair and make-up!

The church aisle where I walked down on my own

***All photos posted here were taken by a friend photographer. She and her partner gifted us with their time, effort and energy to become our wedding photographer and videographer.***

One of our godfathers drove me to the church. I didn’t have my family or any relatives here even during our wedding. I walked down the aisle on my own. However, I was still fortunate enough to have a close family friend living here for nearly a decade to wait for me at the front and to hand me over to my groom at the altar. The wedding ceremony went on as we wished — simple and solemn with some laughters.

It actually takes three to tango when it comes to marriage — husband, wife and God.

It was a beautiful summer day in this country where my husband and I have chosen to build our own family.

Our reception was simple yet elegant as planned. It was in a marquee installed outside a restaurant that served our food. We all enjoyed our individual pre-ordered three-course meals. Yes, we asked our guests to inform us about their choice of the set of meal when they RSVP’d because we limited our number of guests to 50 for financial reason of course. Then we had a simple programme — cutting of the wedding cake, first dance as husband and wife, throwing of bouquet and garter, a song performance by a friend, and a couple of speeches.  Two of our friends volunteered themselves to become the emcees.

Our beautiful wedding cake that was baked and gifted to us by our godmother

I decided to write about our wedding as part of the blog series that I have been striving to complete because, through our wedding, my husband and I were able to practice one very important trait of New Zealanders — that is their “do-it-yourself” attitude. And through our wedding, we felt and witnessed another very wonderful attitude of the people here in New Zealand — that is helping one another without expecting for any return. Last and most importantly, our wedding was an undoubtedly great event in our lives here in New Zealand not only because it was our wedding but because, through our wedding, my husband and I truly worked as a team — a team that is still being strengthened through life’s trials and challenges.

Since day 1, my husband and I have been working hand in hand as a team.

Yes, We are husband and wife… We are a family… We are a team. And teamwork has indeed helped us to survive in our very challenging life away from our families and relatives back in the Philippines.

Our Spirit of Battle Turns 1

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Our “spirit of battle” was born on 28 July 2016 at 2:07pm.

Today, 28 July 2017, marks the 1st birthday of our “Spirit of Battle”. Yes, that’s the meaning of his name and he truly deserves it because it feels like he has already won several battles in life.

It was a day before we left Philippines when we visited there in late 2015 when my husband and I found out that I was carrying our second child. We didn’t tell anyone yet during that time as it was still too early and we wanted it to be confirmed by our GP here. It was unexpected. It was unplanned. But it’s true that best things and greatest blessings come unexpectedly.

While he was still in my tummy, we so fondly called him G2 since our firstborn’s name starts with letter G. We were supposed to name him Xavier but a day before he was born I discovered his name when I tried to find a variation of the word cadence, which means harmony. Indeed, Caden was meant to be his name.

Three months before he was born, the doctors found out that there’s a possibility of him coming out prematurely after I fell over. I had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days back then because I needed to be injected with steroids that could help his lungs cope well in case he’d come out that early. And within the whole last trimester of my pregnancy, we had to be closely monitored by a maternity team because he seemed to be not growing well inside my womb and the blood flow in his brain seemed to be not enough. Thankfully, he stayed inside my womb for until almost 39 weeks.

Although it was a natural birth and without epidural, it was a more difficult labour and birth. I almost asked my midwife to cut my tummy a few hours before he came out because it felt like I was going to have an asthma attack. I asked for the gas instead. Then it felt like the precious little one fought with me and just pushed himself out and made it easier for me.

Our very precious blessing has always been a resilient fighter. ❤️❤️❤️

When he came out, he cried very quietly and only for a short time. He was able to latch on so easily as if he really knew what to do to be able to drink milk. But then, his temperature and his blood sugar level were very low so he was put in an incubator for four hours. Afterwards, we were good to go to the birthcare. It was a very bad timing to transfer from hospital to birthcare because it’s winter and his temperature should not go low again and, worse, it was rush hour and the traffic was awful but we needed to be in the birthcare within thirty minutes because he had to be monitored again.

He’s been a quiet, happy and contented baby most of the time.

Then weeks and months went by. We were successful in breastfeeding. He had a great daily routine that enabled me to still spend time with his kuya and to do other house chores. I was able to come back to Playcentre after 3 months and he was coming with us too. He enjoyed his first Christmas and New Year.

But after he turned 5 months old, he had to experience heaps of changes and adjustments because I got so ill. He stayed with me in the hospital for four days because I was still breastfeeding him but we had to abruptly stop it and to start him with formula exclusively. Surely, he also felt the stress and worries that our family had undergone during the following months. He even had to stay in another house then in a childcare centre during the day for several months because I couldn’t look after him and my husband would have to work of course.

Within those months, it felt like I missed many of his firsts. One day, I just realised that he was already crawling then sitting up. Time went by faster and he began standing up then toddling and now walking. He’s already got his own ways of communicating with us. He loves music. He likes dancing and bouncing up and down. And we love his smiles. Oh, we love him so dearly!

Despite all the challenges, here he is now — still happy and thriving so well– a very active boy growing up into a determined and resilient man.

And today, he turns 1! ❤️❤️❤️