Tag Archives: faith

Let Them Be

Posted on by

“I am SUPERMAN!!!”

“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” -Nelson Mandela

“Nooooo!!!No suot (wear) that! Not that shirt! Not that pants!” screamed Mr. Two. “I want Superman lang (only),” he DECLARED.

There are mornings like this. Sometimes, it happens during mornings when everybody’s in a hurry. Yes, the struggle is real! (I ALSO WANT TO SCREAM “NOOOOO!!!”)

But then, what’s really wrong about a two-year-old wearing his Superman costume when he will just go to play in the childcare centre or at Playcentre? Nothing! Yes, nothing, right?! So why struggle?

“I am MAUI now!”
(Because he got “tattooed”…with stickers!)

Recently, he has become so OBSESSED with Moana. When he’s allowed to watch TV, he wants to watch Moana only. When we listen to music, it has to be the Moana soundtrack. And we have to listen to Moana soundtrack every single minute … every single day… and he dances his heart out every single time that he hears the songs. (Dancing is the cute part but listening to the same music over and over again? It makes me… “What can I say except you’re welcome? You’re welcome!” Arghhhhh…) Oh, one afternoon, he didn’t want to wear anything except his underpants because Maui is topless and then yesterday, he’s got himself “tattooed” (with stickers) because Maui has tattoos and HE IS MAUI, according to him!

So anything wrong with that? NOTHING!!! Because there is nothing wrong in letting the child believe that he can be whoever he wants to be.

Now I may be questioned: “So what if he gets so frustrated when he’d finally realise that he is neither Superman nor Maui?”

First, I am sure that he knows that he is neither Superman nor Maui because we call him by his real name and he responds to us.

Second, it is very, very natural for children and even for adults to get frustrated. Therefore, it is actually good for him to get frustrated when reality hits him. It becomes an opportunity for us to help him learn how to accept the fact, let go and move forward while he is still very young. Then while he realises that it is not all the time that he can be whoever he wants to be, he will still believe in himself.

Because he can try to become the person he wants to be. Because we believe that he can. Because we let him be!

He can be a mechanic!

He can be a firefighter! (He’s just having a break in the fire station. Look, he’s still wearing his fireman boots!)

He can mow the lawn!

He can be a photographer!

He can be a musician!

He can be an engineer or even a plumber!

He can be a chef!

I am a strong advocate of free play. They can get messy. They can get wet. They can explore. They can run around until they get tired. They can play with dolls as long as they are being good fathers or big brothers to the doll. They can play cooking.

Basically, I let my children do everything. I let them be.

Now don’t get me wrong. Yes, I give them freedom to do whatever they want to. However, I also have rules that they must strictly follow.

  • When it is eating time, it is eating time. They have to sit with us at the dining table. (This can be bent sometimes but should be followed most of the time.)
  • Eat what’s served on the table. Be thankful for the food whatever it is. They can decide on how much to eat though (only them can feel whether they’re hungry or full).
  • Bedtime starts between 7:30pm and 8pm. I can’t control how soon they fall asleep but they must stay on the bed…no standing up, no sitting, no jumping…nothing else but lie down!
  • Never hurt nor harm anyone.

I let them be because I want them to know that I trust them. I let them be but I let them face the consequences of their choices. I let them be and I celebrate with them when they achieve something from being who they have decided to be. I let them be because I know that it will help them develop a good amount of self-control and a good sense of full responsibility over their lives.

I love, trust and respect  them that’s why I let them be.

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Posted on by
“Somehow, you need to cling to your optimism. Always look for the silver lining. Always look for the best in people. Try to see things through the eyes of a child. See the wonder in the simplest things. Never stop dreaming. Believe anything is possible.”
Richie Sambora

 

I am not always an optimist. I have my dark days too. I get stuck in dark tunnels too. When I cry, I cry hard and I cry for a long time…quietly. I cry when the whole world is asleep…

So that when everybody wakes up the next morning, all they see on my face is a smile… the smile of victory. I smile because deep inside I know I have defeated the pessimist me. I smile because I have begun moving forward again towards the light at the end of the dark tunnel where I got stuck.

It has been over a month now when I felt like something stole the motherhood in me. But recently I have realised that motherhood has never been stolen away from me. Although I have not been able to do almost everything that I used to do as the mother of my children, the mother in me has always loved them so dearly.

They say GBS has no cure. I say these two boys are the cure that any medical experts haven’t discovered yet.

I have realised that I have still sacrificed a lot as their mother. Putting them in a childcare centre has been a huge sacrifice for me. It had never been part of my plans to put them under the care of other people. However, it has been what is best not only for them but also for me and their Daddy. My husband has somehow been able to work for a little more hours for two weeks now (still not full time since he needs to take me to doctor sometimes). And I have been able to focus more on my recovery — therapies and my most needed rest.

My very young boys happily enjoying their freedom to explore the world away from me and their Daddy

Moreover, the best thing that has ever happened these days is how my young boys have seemed to be able to show their resilience and adaptability during this tough time that our family has been facing. I have even received a lot of overwhelmingly high praises about them. Nowadays, the world has seemed to make me realise how blest I’ve been with very beautiful children.

Yes, my children have always been the positive motivating force since they came into my life. I remember I even told my neurologists while I was crying to them for several times: “I wouldn’t mind and I wouldn’t care if I stay like this for the rest of my life if I’m not a mom. I could even die anytime soon. But I am a mother, you have to know what’s really going on because I’m sure once you know it, you’ll be able to tell me what we have to do and I will do every single thing that I will be asked to do.”

So now, I have three or four therapy sessions a week and I have different  sets of exercises that I need to do several times a day. And I don’t mind doing them all because that’s the only way for me to get back to being the kind of mother that I used to be.

Yesterday, I was able to hold my baby upright for several minutes…while sitting, of course. ❤❤❤

These days, I’ve been able to play a little with my boys when they are home. I’ve been able to (partially) change their nappies and clothes sometimes. And yesterday, I was able to hold my baby upright while sitting for several minutes after my husband handed him over to me. It was such a blissful moment!

Indeed, every cloud has a silver lining… even the darkest one. Yes, even the darkest cloud has a silver lining.

Thirty-Five

Posted on by

Thirty-five gems for my sons:

  1. There is indeed one Supreme Being — God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit…for others, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha,… Different names perhaps… but there’s indeed one Supreme Being and He is our Father and He loves us.
  2. Have a strong faith in God for nothing is impossible with  Him.
  3. Respect other people’s choice of religion. Religion doesn’t define who’s good and who’s not.
  4. Fire is to Gold as Pressure is to Diamond as Adversity is to Man. One day, life will make you comprehend what this means.
  5. People matter over matters.
  6. Let your greatness be defined by your goodness and kindness to everyone and everything that breathes, not by wealth nor fame nor power.
  7. Marry only one woman. Then love only the woman whom you’d marry.
  8. Your father has been an excellent Daddy to both of you. That should be more than enough for your future children to also have a great Dad!
  9. We are not only beneficiaries of Mother Nature; we are created as stewards of all God’s creations.
  10. It is OK to rest sometimes. Be kind and gentle to yourselves.
  11. Expect that you will commit mistakes. Once you do…admit and correct them then avoid doing them again.
  12. Love your brother and be there for one another…all the time!
  13. Your Daddy and I have been doing our best to build a strong foundation for you. It will be up to you what and how you will build on it.
  14. The universe does not have a centre. This means you are not the centre of the universe.
  15. Keep your feet on the ground (figuratively). You can literally climb up a tree if you want to. But keep your feet on the ground (yes again, figuratively).
  16. You are unique. Based on the standards set by any society, you might either be better or less than the others…don’t bother too much about it. You are unique.
  17. You are and will always be special to me and to your Daddy. I hope that’s more than enough for your self-esteem.
  18. Everbody’s unique. Respect. It’s all about respect.
  19. You might want to be a doctor or engineer or farmer or builder or truck driver, etc.. Choose  to be any of those but please be a good man always.
  20. The best opportunity that life will present to you is the opportunity to help. Always grab it.
  21. At one point or another in your life, you will need help. Be humble and wise enough to ask for it.
  22. You have always been blessed and you will always be. Share your blessings. Pass them on.
  23. Your Daddy and I have been educating you since you’re very little. Therefore, you have no reason to act like uneducated. Being well-mannered and politeness are the keys.
  24. Find ways to explore the world without spending too much money.
  25. You might be able to afford a huge house. Don’t let it define you. It’s how you treat everyone who knocks on your door or who enters your house that will define you.
  26. Life can be unfair. So do your best to be fair to everyone.
  27. Life itself can be tough. So be gentle to yourself and to everyone.
  28. Pray. Don’t just recite prayers. Talk to God the way you talk to your best friend.
  29. Be yourself. But in the process of being yourself, never harm nor hurt anyone else.
  30. Live. Let live.
  31. When you have to, let go and let God.
  32. I trust you.
  33. I love you so much.
  34. Again, I love you.
  35. In case you’ve already forgotten, I LOVE YOU!

An Opportunity To Help

Posted on by

32-year-old mom in the Philippines who got paralysed for FOUR years now

I am writing this blog with hope that this can find a way to help another mom who has been suffering with somewhat similar illness like mine for four years now. She’s now 32 years old with one daughter who’s almost 7 years old now. I met her only last night when she sent a message to me after reading my blog. She’s the wife of a grade school classmate of mine.

Screenshots of her messages telling me what happened to her

Her suffering started before dawn on 2nd of March 2013. She said that it all started with severe pain on the left part of her back and she couldn’t breathe easily. They waited for sunrise before they dropped their then 2-year-and-8-month-old daughter to their mom’s house on their way to hospital. While she was preparing, her left arm got numb. As they approached the hospital, she felt that she was losing her balance and when it was time to hop off from the jeepney, she couldn’t lift herself up anymore so her husband had to carry her already.

They spent the whole day in the emergency waiting for an available room. When she was finally in the room that night, she reached  the point of full paralysis. It was only her head that she could move. She was in the hospital for two weeks where several tests were done and every test result was normal. The doctor told her that what she got was “transverse myelitis”. (I don’t know what it is but by the sound of myelitis, it could be an inflammation of the myelin sheath…oh, I’m not a doctor!) She was told that there’s NO cure and therapies should be done so she can possibly recover.

Apparently, they have been financially incapable of paying for the therapies since her husband had to leave work as he’s the one looking after her. Her husband needs to carry her until now as she is still not able to stand up.

What a heartbreaking story!

I hate to say this but her story has made me feel how lucky I still have been despite my current condition. I feel sorry for her that her condition was that severe. I feel sorry for her because she lives in a place where medical benefits are not as good and enough as I’ve been receiving here. I believe that if only she was able to continue undergoing the necessary therapies, she might’ve recovered — if not fully, at least she might’ve been able to stand up or even walk.

If you’re reading this and if you think of any possible way that we could help her, please comment below. She said that her illness has made her and her family’s world to crumble down. So if there’s any way that we could be of help, let us help to rebuild their world.

With her very caring and loving husband who was my classmate in grade school

To you, my new friend, please hang in there and know that you’re not alone. Sending my prayers to you… and let us both hope for the best!

This Too Shall Pass

Posted on by

What a beautiful sky that we had this afternoon!

 

Look at that beautiful sky! Who would’ve thought that the weather was so harsh in the last couple of days?

I believe that all our hardships and troubles will also end in no time. And everything in our lives will turn out as wonderful as this beautiful sky that amazed us today.

After all, there’s still so much to be thankful for. As I look into my heart, I’m sure that the God who loves me is just there working on all the great things that He has planned for us. And as I look around, there are too many people who love and care for me and my family.

I’m thankful that I’m here when I was diagnosed with GBS. The doctors and nurses in the hospital were excellent. The community health services have been making things easy for me. Since last week, a nurse coordinator, an occupational therapist and a social worker have already come to our house and looked into what I need in order to recover. The physiotherapist is coming on Thursday. The Plunket nurse who’s assigned to our boys have referred us to some agencies that can help us in some ways to make things a little easier for us.

I’m thankful to our families, relatives and friends who have always been offering and giving some help and support to us. Without them, our lives would’ve been too chaotic every single day.

I’m thankful to my husband’s employer who has allowed him to work from home although it is still one hell of a challenge for him. Because of my condition, it has been my husband who’s doing almost everything at home now plus he needs to assist me from time to time. So he’s only able to focus on his work from ten in the evening and he usually goes to sleep at around three in the morning. Then he needs to wake up when our baby wakes up at around six or seven in the morning.

There have been days when my husband and I don’t know anymore how we’re going to survive — physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. Our family has not been receiving the usual income that we used to have for almost a month now. We even considered just going back to Philippines but it’s not the best solution or it might even be the worst decision to make at the moment. We have been seriously considering to make a page in a crowdfunding site like give-a-little so we can at least put our boys in the childcare centre where we are most comfortable with so that my husband can work full time.

Our life now has been really hard but there’s nothing else we can do but to keep hoping that it will get better soon. Yes, just like all the other trials in the past, this too shall pass! God is with us.