Mr. Two’s hitting and kicking modes were ON. For no apparent reason, he would just hit and kick me so hard not just once but several times.

I have never been a perfect mom but I do my best to be a respectful mom. I’m not only after correcting and disciplining my children. I am after educating them and helping them choose to do the good and/or the right thing. Apparently in doing this, I would usually need to do some trial and error.

So I decided to try a few different strategies.

Strategy #1: “The Rule”

Me: “No hitting. No kicking. No hurting other people.”
He stopped for a while then resumed after a few minutes.

Strategy #2: “The Golden Rule”

Me: “I said no hitting and no kicking. Do you want me to hit or kick you? Do you want me to hurt you?”
G: “No!”
Me: “If you don’t want me to hurt you, stop hurting me.”
He stopped for a while then resumed.

Strategy #3: “Empathy + Solution”

Me: “You seem to be very upset. How about you use your words instead of hurting me? You can always tell me what’s wrong. You’re hurting Mommy big time. When I’m upset with you, I don’t hurt you. And even if you hurt me now, I don’t hit or kick you back. Tell Mommy what’s wrong.”

He stopped, hugged me…then resumed hurting me.

Strategy #4: “Ignore”

I just ignored him.
Failed!

Strategy 5: “Damsel in Distress”

Me: “You are hurting me. Do you want me to get sick again? Do you want me to stay in the hospital again?”
He stopped, looked at me and he was about to cry.
I realised I was wrong because I wouldn’t want him to feel guilty once I’m back in the hospital.
Me: “Ok. Sorry, Mommy gets sick sometimes for no reason at all. Mommy can get sick even if you’re not hurting me.”
He stopped for quite a long time. Then he resumed in hurting me.

Strategy #6: “Ultimatum”

Me: “Hurting someone else is not good. Hitting will never, ever be good no matter what your reasons are. You can always tell me why you’re upset. Use your words instead.”
He continued.
Me: “Do you know that when you hurt other people the police can put you in jail?”
He didn’t know what a jail is.
Me: “In jail, you won’t see Mommy and Daddy and [brother] anymore. You will live with other people who can hurt you too. Mommy will be very, very sad. Mommy will never want you to live in jail BUT, if you continue to hit and kick other people, Mommy will be the one to call the police. Mommy will be sad but I will let the police take you because what you’re doing is not right. It is not good. Do you want Mommy to call the police to take you?”
G: “No. Sorry, Mommy.”
Me: “You’re a good boy. You’ve always been good but hitting and kicking are not good. Are you still going to hurt other people?”
G: “No. Sorry, Mommy. I love you.”
Me: “I love you too. Mommy understands you were upset. I didn’t know why. It’s better if you’ll tell Mommy what happened.”
He didn’t say a word. He only hugged me and looked at me as if he’s asking for a hug and kiss.

I knew there was no external reason. He was very happy before he started and I was even playing with him.

It was more of a “natural urge” caused by something happening inside him that’s actually part of his brain development.

That would have been a valid excuse but I knew that if I let him continue that, he’ll grow up thinking that it’s OK to hurt others. So I’d rather be the mean mom who “scares” her child rather than see him hurting people as he grows up.

And I think it’s also good for him to know that if someone will hurt him, he can call the police to catch the offender. So, yes, better not mess with my children!