Tag Archives: New Zealand

How It Is To Live And Raise A Family in New Zealand (1st Part of Part 2: Our Family, A Team…The Beginning)

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Disclaimer: As what I put on Part 1, Everything that’s written here is based on our own family’s experiences and based on my perspective and preferences. This is the  first of the series where I’ll write about how we live (or survive perhaps) as a family away from our families and relatives in the Philippines.

The bridal car that our friend decorated

My husband and I got married here. We did 90% of our wedding preparations. We coordinated with the church where we wanted to get married. We searched together for the venue where we wanted to have our reception. We made our own invitations. We bought my gown and his suit together. I personalised the wedding ceremony that was shared to us by our priest/celebrant. My husband prepared the playlist of all the songs for both the ceremony and reception. One day before our wedding, we were travelling around Auckland to purchase all the flowers that were arranged free of charge by a very kind family friend. On that same day, we picked up the bridal car that we rented. Then I went to the house of my aunt-in-law where I slept that night.

My lovely bridal bouquet that was superbly arranged by our long-time close family friend

Wedding Day. I woke up early in the morning. Yes, I was able to sleep well because I got exhausted from everything that we had to do in the past weeks or perhaps months. I had breakfast, prepared all that I needed, took a bath and had lunch. Then I started to style my hair and to do my own make-up. Yes, I didn’t have a hairstylist and/or a make-up artist but I had my matron-of-honour and a bridesmaid who assisted me. My cousin-in-law put the nail polish on me the night before. I put my gown and veil on. One and a half hour before the wedding, I was all set and ready to go to the church. I loved how all my preparations that day all went. I was relaxed because I was able to do everything my way — particularly my hair and make-up!

The church aisle where I walked down on my own

***All photos posted here were taken by a friend photographer. She and her partner gifted us with their time, effort and energy to become our wedding photographer and videographer.***

One of our godfathers drove me to the church. I didn’t have my family or any relatives here even during our wedding. I walked down the aisle on my own. However, I was still fortunate enough to have a close family friend living here for nearly a decade to wait for me at the front and to hand me over to my groom at the altar. The wedding ceremony went on as we wished — simple and solemn with some laughters.

It actually takes three to tango when it comes to marriage — husband, wife and God.

It was a beautiful summer day in this country where my husband and I have chosen to build our own family.

Our reception was simple yet elegant as planned. It was in a marquee installed outside a restaurant that served our food. We all enjoyed our individual pre-ordered three-course meals. Yes, we asked our guests to inform us about their choice of the set of meal when they RSVP’d because we limited our number of guests to 50 for financial reason of course. Then we had a simple programme — cutting of the wedding cake, first dance as husband and wife, throwing of bouquet and garter, a song performance by a friend, and a couple of speeches.  Two of our friends volunteered themselves to become the emcees.

Our beautiful wedding cake that was baked and gifted to us by our godmother

I decided to write about our wedding as part of the blog series that I have been striving to complete because, through our wedding, my husband and I were able to practice one very important trait of New Zealanders — that is their “do-it-yourself” attitude. And through our wedding, we felt and witnessed another very wonderful attitude of the people here in New Zealand — that is helping one another without expecting for any return. Last and most importantly, our wedding was an undoubtedly great event in our lives here in New Zealand not only because it was our wedding but because, through our wedding, my husband and I truly worked as a team — a team that is still being strengthened through life’s trials and challenges.

Since day 1, my husband and I have been working hand in hand as a team.

Yes, We are husband and wife… We are a family… We are a team. And teamwork has indeed helped us to survive in our very challenging life away from our families and relatives back in the Philippines.

How It Is To Live and Raise A Family in New Zealand (Part 1: The Economics)

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Disclaimer: Everything that’s written here is based on our own family’s experiences and based on my perspective and preferences. This is just the first part and this post is more about the financial aspect.

South Island, New Zealand (2014)

First, let me give you a background of how and why we came here.

It was in 2011 when my then-boyfriend told me he wanted to come here in New Zealand to see whether or not he would love to live and work here. With my do-what-you-want-and-what-you-think-is-right-for-you attitude, I simply agreed. Because we’re after what’s practical, he came here first while I continue with my life and work back in the Philippines. He came here in early 2012 with a visa that did not restrict him from applying for a job and he was fortunate enough to find one. Fast forward to mid-2013, I came here trusting his judgment that NZ is a great place to live and build a family. Fast forward a little bit more to January 2014, I got pregnant and we got married. And now we have two boys already with two years and a month age gap.

So how’s our life now here in New Zealand?

Three words: HARD YET BEAUTIFUL.

I can’t give you separate reasons for why it is hard and why it is beautiful because hard and beautiful seem to be inseparable to describe our life here. Hardships lead us to life’s beauty. For every beautiful aspirations that we have, we need to go through hardships.

This is what I would honestly say to anyone considering to migrate here in NZ:

If your main goal is to become wealthy, I doubt that you can achieve it here unless you are single and not planning to start a family anytime soon. If your main concern is your family with you being the best provider of material things, you come alone and work here then let your family stay in the Philippines. If your main goal is to provide a better environment to your family and better education to your children without having to pay hundred thousands of pesos a year for the tuition, come here BUT… be ready to live in the simplest and most practical way as possible.

Financially speaking, it is hard to survive here. Most Filipino couples here that we know are both working. In our case, my husband has been the sole provider and I am a stay-at-home mom. At first, it was by choice because we never want to put our young children (3 years old and 1 year old) in childcare centre and none of our parents would stay here to look after our children full-time. Now it is hard for me at the moment to work even if I want to and even if we need to since I got sick this year.

Putting our children for full time in a childcare centre will cost us at least $400 (around 14k pesos) per week. If my child gets sick while he’s under their care, I would have to take a leave from work to pick him up from the centre while still paying the full amount.

Renting a decent 2-bedroom house here in Auckland would usually cost at least $400 per week (if you’re lucky like us). That’s around 60k pesos per month excluding the utilities (electricity, water, phone, internet). Our weekly groceries would usually range between $150 to $200 (5k to 7k pesos). As much as my judgment is concerned, we are already being thrifty while minding our family’s, particularly our children’s, health and well-being. Food is really expensive here but both me and my husband were raised in households where food and nutrition should never be sacrificed.

Do we still go for shopping? Yes, to purchase our children’s needs. For me and my husband? Rarely. Most of my clothes are either from the Philippines (the ones I brought here back in 2013 and the ones that were given to me by my mom-in-law and sister) or hand-me-down clothes from my husband’s aunt. I haven’t even bought any cosmetics in the last 3 years. Shoes? One in a year and I go for bargains…up to $20 (700 pesos). Bag? Yes, a nappy bag that we have been using for 3 years already. My engagement ring doesn’t have diamond or any stone and our marriage rings are from Philippines. And my phone is still an iphone5s.

Going out and about, we go for bus and train, especially if we’re going to CBD, since the parking fees are tremendously awful. We occasionally ride in a taxi or even the likes of uber.

We rarely eat in restaurants now. We would pack our lunch as much as possible whenever we go out. If we’re not able to, we either buy from takeaways or you can find us in a foodcourt.

You might say, “I’m sure the salaries/wages there are high.” No! It might sound big if you convert it to pesos but go back to the above-mentioned expenses then think if the net salary here is really high.  Plus we need to pay really huge amount of tax.

Sounds hard? Yes, it is hard. So why are we still here? It is our decision. It is mainly for our children.

I gave birth to my two boys free of charge. The only prenatal service that we had to pay were the ultrasounds. The healthcare providers even come to our house for postnatal check-ups and for the regular check-ups of our children since they know that I can’t drive. Immunisations are free. They are being checked and treated by our GP (family doctor) for free and that’s until they’re 12 years old. We don’t even have to pay for our admissions to the hospital. Their dental treatments are free until they’re 18. Schools here are not as expensive as the private schools there in the Philippines.

If we want to take them to museum, it’s free. If we want to go to the beach, we can go anytime for as long as our car has enough petrol or we have extra for bus fares. We don’t have to pay for the beach resort entrance. All beaches are open for public for free. Playgrounds and parks are open for public and they’re free of charge. We were able to feed the lambs for free. Almost every suburb has a public library from where we can borrow several books at a time for a month all free of charge.

Considering all of these, we may not have all the material things that other migrant workers or OFW can purchase but we are sure that our children have the opportunities to gain knowledge and wonderful experiences from going to museum, parks and beaches, and from being able to read several different books in their lifetime even if our family is low on budget. And that is what’s most important to us.

In the next part, I will talk about how we are coping as a family while living away from our families and relatives back in the Philippines.

A Great Village To Raise Children

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It was 2nd of February in 2015 when we came to Hillsborough Playcentre for our first visit. That was my 33rd birthday. My firstborn was about to turn 8 months old then.

Photos during our first visit at Hillsborough Playcentre

Coming from a country where most children grow up attached not only to our parents and siblings but also to our grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins (as a matter of fact, to our neighbours as well), we felt like our child was missing something in his life. Although I knew that my son will eventually go to school where he’ll meet new people, I have believed that he would also need to be around other people during his preschool years. But then, being migrants here, it was just me and my son in the house during weekdays and it’s usually just me, my husband and our son during weekends. Physically, we have neighbours but, to be honest, we haven’t met our neighbours until now. And although I knew he needed to be around other people apart from me, I never wanted to put him in a childcare centre and he’s too young for kindy. I tried to join in playgroups but I wasn’t lucky to find a group that I could be comfortable with because the first groups that I encountered were with moms who would put their children down with toys and other babies then would just start to chat about the challenges in motherhood. In my mind, I was screaming, “I already know it’s hard to be a mom and I came here so that my child and I could have people to interact and play with. I brought my child here not to be talked about!”

So my husband and I had a hard time figuring out what to do. Personally, I wanted to go to a place where I wouldn’t have to leave my child behind, a place where he would not have to come and stay for long hours, a place where he can discover and develop himself — his own interests, his own skills. I wanted to take him to a place where he wouldn’t be directed what to do, a place where he can choose what, when, where, with whom and how to play. I wanted to take him to a place where I could be a part of making decisions on how to help my child learn and thrive. I wanted to go to a place with my child where we could have fun together.

For several months as we would drive on the road where our house is, I could always see the “Playcentre” signage. When I was already desperate to find an option for my son, that signage came to my mind so I researched about it and here’s what it says on their website:

If at this point, you want to know more about Hillsborough Playcentre, here are their website and Facebook page.

Everything that I had read about them appealed to me. It felt like that was exactly what I wanted. So I made an enquiry and I was invited for a visit.

Then came our first visit. Right then and there, I already wanted to join. The place was totally awesome — an indoor space where children could freely choose the toys, puzzles, costumes and books, a huge outdoor area where children could freely move around and explore. I saw children in costumes — princesses, animals, superheroes. I heard children laughing, talking to each other and even planning about their play dates. The moms whom I spoke with were all praises for the centre. They all sounded happy — both adults and children. They allowed me and my son to simply experience how it is to be at Playcentre. And yes, we joined in.

I believe joining Hillsborough Playcentre is one of the best decisions that my husband and I have made. I have seen how our son has learnt and developed over the past two and a half years that we’re at Playcentre. He’s got people whom he calls his friends and those whom he calls friends are not only children but also the children’s moms (and a few dads).

Moreover, my husband and I have found our own friends from Playcentre — well, not only friends… we have found a family… a great village where we would love to raise our children.

In the past two and a half years, we got to have fun with them not only in the centre but also in the parks, ferry rides, parties, etc.. Our firstborn celebrated all his first three birthdays with them. Then I got pregnant and gave birth to our 2nd son. Each day for two weeks, each member family took turns in bringing a home-cooked meal for us. When I had to rush my firstborn to the hospital, a Playcentre friend rushed to our house to look after our baby. When I got sick earlier this year, our Playcentre friends helped us in looking after our children. Yes, our Hillsborough Playcentre family has been one of our main support groups during those challenging times.

But due to the illness that badly hit me this year, I had to make a very sad decision. We’ve got to stop from coming to “our village” at the moment but with the hope of being able to come back perhaps after two or three terms. Although they have wanted us to stay and have offered us several different options and great support, I still decided to leave because I can feel that I won’t be able to give the same commitment that I would always love to give and I don’t want to be unfair to the community who has been giving their best for us.

Moreso, I know in my heart that, more than anything else, my children need a strong and healthy mother. Our own family needs me to be the strongest and healthiest that I can be. And I know that once I get back to my healthiest state, we are going to come back to the village that we have loved so dearly.

A farewell card is the last thing I want to receive from Hillsborough Playcentre.

For now, it’s au revoir… til we meet again, our beloved Hillsborough Playcentre! ❤️❤️❤️