Monthly Archives: June 2017

The Saga Continues…

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Two weeks ago, I received a call and it was about the appointment that I had been waiting for for four months. So since then, I had been looking forward to the 29th of June. The more extensive nerve conduction and single-fibre EMG tests would be done.

29 June 2017 — The day went on as usual… looking after the boys, trying to organise and tidy up the house, etc.. My husband left his work at 1pm to drive me to hospital and to take the boys to the museum while I had to undergo the tests.

I arrived at the Neurophysiology reception 10 minutes before my appointment. I saw a few neurologists walking around. It felt good when they stopped to greet me and to ask how I’ve been… and told me that they’ve been looking forward to give me the final diagnosis. I’ve been hoping for that too.

I had to wait at the reception area for only five minutes. The very last neurologist whom I saw during my last day in the Neurology ward six months ago was the one who led me to the testing room. He examined me. The weakness that I thought was completely gone was still there. “You’re definitely stronger now but you’re still weak.” That’s what he said.

Then he explained to me about the procedure, which could last for 90 minutes. He then went out to call the neurologist who’s a specialist in conducting the tests.

The specialist entered the room. I was nervous but I was feeling positive too. I was glad when he told me that he thought they wouldn’t have to do the nerve conduction test since they thought that the problem is not on my nerves but on my neuromuscular junctions (I’m not sure what that meant but based on the name…it might be the connection between my nerves and muscles). Then he proceeded to examining me in the same way that I was examined several minutes ago and he started the SFEMG test.

He asked me to lie down and began to insert the needle into my right arm. Then I began to feel the “electric shocks” and heard those “tock…tock…tock…tock…tock…” from the computer. It lasted for almost 20 minutes. Then he transferred the needle just a few centimetres away from the first one. It lasted for around 10 minutes. Then he removed the needle. He told me that they seemed to have enough data and excused themselves to talk about the result. They went out for five minutes.

While they were out, I was thinking that they had the answer. I was wrong.

I was told that there were times when the number of jitters per microsecond was higher than the normal range but the mean was within the normal range so they had to do the same thing again but it would be on top of my right eyebrow. Yes, they had to insert the needle on top of my right eyebrow (which became a bit swollen after).

It lasted for almost 20 minutes. He said we’re done. He said I could already go anytime and that the main neurologist who’s been assigned to me would call me for follow-up. I was dying to hear about the result so I asked him about it. He said “We found abnormalities in the result and I would further look at it then I’ll send my report to Dr. R. He will then set a schedule for a follow-up appointment with you. But if you notice that your symptoms are getting worse like you’d feel you’re getting weaker again or your double vision worsens or your eyelids are drooping more or your swallowing becomes difficult like last time, you need to let us know right away so we can already put you under medications.”

The answer was not clear to me because there was no direct answer but I respect how he did it. Perhaps my main neurologist should really be the one to discuss about the result to me.

For now, I simply have to wait for the next call from them and hope that I’ll continue to get better without the need for any medications (because I have never been good at taking medicines).

Yes, the waiting game and the saga continue… 😔😔😔

A Great Village To Raise Children

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It was 2nd of February in 2015 when we came to Hillsborough Playcentre for our first visit. That was my 33rd birthday. My firstborn was about to turn 8 months old then.

Photos during our first visit at Hillsborough Playcentre

Coming from a country where most children grow up attached not only to our parents and siblings but also to our grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins (as a matter of fact, to our neighbours as well), we felt like our child was missing something in his life. Although I knew that my son will eventually go to school where he’ll meet new people, I have believed that he would also need to be around other people during his preschool years. But then, being migrants here, it was just me and my son in the house during weekdays and it’s usually just me, my husband and our son during weekends. Physically, we have neighbours but, to be honest, we haven’t met our neighbours until now. And although I knew he needed to be around other people apart from me, I never wanted to put him in a childcare centre and he’s too young for kindy. I tried to join in playgroups but I wasn’t lucky to find a group that I could be comfortable with because the first groups that I encountered were with moms who would put their children down with toys and other babies then would just start to chat about the challenges in motherhood. In my mind, I was screaming, “I already know it’s hard to be a mom and I came here so that my child and I could have people to interact and play with. I brought my child here not to be talked about!”

So my husband and I had a hard time figuring out what to do. Personally, I wanted to go to a place where I wouldn’t have to leave my child behind, a place where he would not have to come and stay for long hours, a place where he can discover and develop himself — his own interests, his own skills. I wanted to take him to a place where he wouldn’t be directed what to do, a place where he can choose what, when, where, with whom and how to play. I wanted to take him to a place where I could be a part of making decisions on how to help my child learn and thrive. I wanted to go to a place with my child where we could have fun together.

For several months as we would drive on the road where our house is, I could always see the “Playcentre” signage. When I was already desperate to find an option for my son, that signage came to my mind so I researched about it and here’s what it says on their website:

If at this point, you want to know more about Hillsborough Playcentre, here are their website and Facebook page.

Everything that I had read about them appealed to me. It felt like that was exactly what I wanted. So I made an enquiry and I was invited for a visit.

Then came our first visit. Right then and there, I already wanted to join. The place was totally awesome — an indoor space where children could freely choose the toys, puzzles, costumes and books, a huge outdoor area where children could freely move around and explore. I saw children in costumes — princesses, animals, superheroes. I heard children laughing, talking to each other and even planning about their play dates. The moms whom I spoke with were all praises for the centre. They all sounded happy — both adults and children. They allowed me and my son to simply experience how it is to be at Playcentre. And yes, we joined in.

I believe joining Hillsborough Playcentre is one of the best decisions that my husband and I have made. I have seen how our son has learnt and developed over the past two and a half years that we’re at Playcentre. He’s got people whom he calls his friends and those whom he calls friends are not only children but also the children’s moms (and a few dads).

Moreover, my husband and I have found our own friends from Playcentre — well, not only friends… we have found a family… a great village where we would love to raise our children.

In the past two and a half years, we got to have fun with them not only in the centre but also in the parks, ferry rides, parties, etc.. Our firstborn celebrated all his first three birthdays with them. Then I got pregnant and gave birth to our 2nd son. Each day for two weeks, each member family took turns in bringing a home-cooked meal for us. When I had to rush my firstborn to the hospital, a Playcentre friend rushed to our house to look after our baby. When I got sick earlier this year, our Playcentre friends helped us in looking after our children. Yes, our Hillsborough Playcentre family has been one of our main support groups during those challenging times.

But due to the illness that badly hit me this year, I had to make a very sad decision. We’ve got to stop from coming to “our village” at the moment but with the hope of being able to come back perhaps after two or three terms. Although they have wanted us to stay and have offered us several different options and great support, I still decided to leave because I can feel that I won’t be able to give the same commitment that I would always love to give and I don’t want to be unfair to the community who has been giving their best for us.

Moreso, I know in my heart that, more than anything else, my children need a strong and healthy mother. Our own family needs me to be the strongest and healthiest that I can be. And I know that once I get back to my healthiest state, we are going to come back to the village that we have loved so dearly.

A farewell card is the last thing I want to receive from Hillsborough Playcentre.

For now, it’s au revoir… til we meet again, our beloved Hillsborough Playcentre! ❤️❤️❤️